


Maybe the Universe doesn't Hate Us

by okbutphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8684215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okbutphan/pseuds/okbutphan
Summary: When Phil Lester went to the Blackfriars bridge with the intent to jump off, he didn’t exactly plan to meet someone else there, or to make a deal with them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for: thoughts of suicide, near-death, minor character death, implied depression

It was 4:36 in the morning.

London was actually almost silent, despite being the city that never sleeps.

 

Of course, the stars were still invisible in the light pollution.

“The stars couldn’t even come out on my last fucking day?” Phil thought bitterly. 

Was it too much to ask to have the stars as the last thing you see? He’d grown up in a rural village where the stars never failed to light up the velvety night sky.

 

It’s not like he really expected them to, it’s just he had drained way too many packs of beer earlier that day, and he was pissed off at everything.

“That’s when you know it’s bad I guess” He mused, leaning back a bit on the ledge where he was perched. A shadow drew behind him and he turned sharply.

 

The man jumped. He had gorgeous eyes, they were rich brown which had specks of gold which danced in the streetlights. Phil noticed that he had tears running down his face. He wore all black but all of his clothes seemed to have a bedraggled look about them like he’d been living in them for a few days. 

The man muttered an apology and turned to leave until Phil grabbed his sleeve.

 

“Wait,” He murmured. The brunet looked at him curiously.

“You're- you're here to jump, are't you?”

 The stranger didn't reply, but instead looked down at the pavement.

 

“Do you- do you maybe want to get a drink maybe and reevaluate this tomorrow? Let’s say this time tomorrow? I don’t know, just hang out until then? Almost nobody will be here and maybe we’ll see the sunrise and decide if we still want to jump? Whatever the other chooses we won’t stop them?” The words fell out of Phil’s mouth, but once they were out there was no way back in."

 

"I- I suppose so. Let's not tell each other our names though, just in case."

 

Phil thought about this. “Okay. But at least give me a fake name? I can’t keep referring to you as ‘attractive stranger’ in my head”

 

He gave a nervous smile. “A-alright, call me Adam”

Phil held out his hand. “Zac. I mean not really but you can call me that.”

 

Adam took his hand, but instead of shaking it, Phil brought it down to his side, and started walking.

 

The cobbled stones were wet and slippy, and the orange streetlight didn’t make it any easier to stay balanced, soon enough Adam was on the ground and brought Phil down with him. He giggled softly. His body rocked and Phil was laughing too until he realised the funny noises Adam was making wasn’t laughter anymore, with his head bent and his tears dribbling down his face and inhaling quickly, he was crying.

 

“Y’know why I wanted to jump Zac? Because I have nothing. As you can probably tell from my clothes, I’m homeless because I walked out on my ex-fiancé because I found him with another man, we had even been confirmed for being able to adopt! My life was perfect, and I destroyed it! I could’ve pretended I hadn’t seen it, everything would’ve been fine. I don’t even have any family because they said if I was engaged to a man then-“ His body doubled over and he had to take deep breaths in between his choking sobs. All Phil could do was rub circles on his back reassuringly.

“They were right, weren’t they? Turns out I wasn’t good enough for Tom, I can’t go back to my family now, can I? It would be the worst “I told you so” moment ever, and anyway, I’d still be bisexual and they’d still hate me-“

 

Phil decided it was time to interrupt. “Adam, I may have only known you for little more than twenty minutes but I can already tell you are the sweetest person ever. Don’t you dare tell me it’s your fault! This Tom guy sounds like a complete idiot- to miss how wonderful you obviously are. He’s not worth a single tear! No offence, but if your family doesn’t understand that people can’t choose who they love then honestly they don’t deserve your tears either. You, Adam Last-name, are completely worth it, and don’t let me ever hear otherwise.”

 

Adam peered at him bleary-eyed. “Okay, first of all, did you call me ‘Adam Last-name?” Phil laughed and nodded. “Secondly, I’m pretty sure you just stole some random shampoo brand’s slogan” Phil giggled again and Adam noticed how his tongue stuck out a tiny bit whenever he did, what an absolute cutie. “And thirdly,” Adam pulled Phil closer and brought their lips together. The kiss tasted of tears and stale alcohol- which isn't technically the best-tasting thing a kiss could be- but it felt so real, the most real anything had felt to either of them in a while and both Adam and Phil both knew that neither of them wanted it to stop. 

 

It was Phil who stopped it to drink in the fresh air, then he looked at Adam, who’s cheeks were now a soft pink and slightly flustered. 

 

“I’ve found life sometimes gets a lot easier once you don’t care whether you kiss attractive strangers or not”

 

Phil gave Adam a sad smile and picked himself up off the ground.

“How many attractive strangers have you been kissing exactly?”

 

Adam giggled. “Shut the fuck up. Here, help me up, let’s go get a drink.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk like they fall asleep together and it's kinda just them getting to know each other because it is going way too fast lmao

They held hands and swung them while they walked, eventually stopping in front of a pub which they could hear was playing a Muse song.

 

_“How much pain has cracked your soul?_

_How much love would make you whole?_

_You’re my guiding lightning strike”_

 

Phil hummed along softly under his breath.

 

Adam smiled at him. Then he turned and walked into the pub, ordering a drink for both him and Phil.

 

“You like Muse then? Adam?”

 

“Sorry, I forgot that was me” Adam grinned. “Yeah, I love Muse, it’s like, my favourite band!”

 

“I guess a downside to death would be never hearing them again,” Phil said thoughtfully, looking down at the table.

 

“Hey Zac, would you mind telling me why you were there? At the bridge I mean?” Adam hurried to correct himself. “Of course, you don’t have to, I just y’know… yeah it doesn’t matter let’s talk about something else-“

 

“It’s uh- I mean I might as well- its- it’s fine. So a while ago my mum died and I guess I wasn’t as affected- I hadn’t seen her in ages and we weren’t that close to begin with- but my brother was so close to her and we both grieved for a bit, but he stopped being happy even a little bit of the time and got really depressed and I moved out at one point but he eventually killed himself -god- was it six months ago?  Anyway- he still lived at home and I moved back in for a while to help my dad and god- it felt so empty without him- y’know? Every time the dog came upstairs in the morning she'd still go in his room first then mine and sometimes I'd go into his room to ask him something and I'd suddenly remember that he’s gone and I’d sit on his bed for ages in his bedroom which was exactly as he’d left it because we didn’t know what else to do with it and-“ 

He couldn’t continue and Adam put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

 

“It’s fine, it’s okay” He murmured

 

“I guess I’ve never really spoken to anyone about it- you don’t mind if I do, do you?”

 Adam shook his head. 

“He was one of my best friends, and now he’s gone it’s just so strange? To think that he no longer exists in any way, but anyway it wasn’t really that easy to get over it- god I must sound so stupid-“ Adam rushed to reassure him and shake his head.

 

“Zac, I think you’re an amazing person, you couldn’t possibly sound stupid to me”

Phil smiled through his tears.

 

They drank together, and the tears turned to those of laughter and mirth.

Adam looked down and their entwined hands and squeezed Phil’s fingers tighter. 

 

“I don’t think I know what I’ll want tomorrow” He whispered, peering through his fringe.

 

“I don’t either, but I think that whichever you choose, I’m going with you,” Phil said softly.

 

“Boys! Last call!” The bartender called.

 

“Do you want to head back to my place?” Phil suggested, slipping off the stool. Adam’s eyes widened and he looked uneasy. 

“Just to sleep” Phil hurried to add.

 Adam looked a lot calmer and followed without a word.

*

 

Phil’s flat, to put it plainly, was a tip. There were empty bottles and crumpled packets of heat-up meals. The bins were overflowing and the sink was full of dishes. His bedsheets stank like they hadn’t been washed in weeks (and they probably hadn’t). Phil’s bedraggled appearance was nothing compared to his flat. 

 

He looked sheepishly around at the state of his living quarters. 

“Yeah I guess I’ve been a bit messier lately-“

 

Adam only laughed. “Can we just sleep please?”

 

Phil nodded and they tumbled into his blue and green checked sheets, only pausing to pull off their restricting black skinny jeans.

*

 

**Author's Note:**

> also Dan is Adam if u couldn't tell (n Phil is Zac)


End file.
